mrty's Reviews

[Battle of the Best]

Nice try.

First of all, I didn't care much about the fact that it was "another sprite movie", because the fight was pretty good. It was exciting and fast paced, so it was blood pumping.

Although this was a sprite movie, some of the drawings you made were pretty good, like when Ryu was turning into Evil Ryu. However, I must say that the text was poor. The beginning texts were outlined in red and the fill was a weird black and white gradient. It's like you tried to make a unique style of text, but I think it would have been better if you just sticked to the normal text tool. I also think that the "FIGHT" text needs some editing, such as shading and different fonts.

Like I mentioned before, the fight was pretty good. It was a creative one, not just a simple and dull series of punches and kicks. I didn't like the ending, though. Ryu dies with his body splitting into two with poorly drawn blood spilling out of him, and a truck randomly falls on Ken? Personally I think you could have came up with a much better ending, like them stopping fighting somehow and becoming friends again. Or maybe some other threat showing up, then Ryu and Ken teaming up and defeating the threat.

By the way, the movie's supposed to be about a tournament, but it only showed one fight, and no other info about the tournament was revealed. Assuming that you're planning to release sequels, I don't think it's a bad start.

The REPLAY button doesn't work. It just rewinds to the part where the truck falls. I'm sorry but I'll have to take off a point for your lack of awareness and double checking.

The sounds were good and the music fit well. I'd suggest you give audio credits though, since they don't show up on the left.

Points taken off:
- 2 points for the lack of originality.
- 1 point for some of the poor graphics.
- 1 point for the lack of carefulness, since you aren't aware that the REPLAY button won't work.

I'd say a pretty good sprite movie, overall. I hope you release sequels to this, because you have the potential. Good luck on your future projects.

- Review Request Club

slick-sheep responds:

Awesome, thanks for taking the time to review my flash. I actually was going to make a longer ending, with ken and ryu teaming up against another threat. That was the orginal plan. Then I decided later that the two would get too powerful and kill eachother. But in the long run, the flash size was getting big and other issues were happening with the flash. So I know that the ending wasnt anything too special but I hope to improve on that in the sequel. I made the tournament thing with the intent of there being more than one. Hopefully I can improve on some of the things you mentioned.

[MSPaintWhatDoYouWantToBe?]

Quite boring.

Kind of fun to watch at first, but got boring pretty quickly. You certainly put quite some of effort into this, gathering all the pictures and making them a flash together.

However, making a flash slideshow and submitting it to NG doesn't really have a point. You could have done it in Power Point and it would have been much easier. Well that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is, if something that already could have been done in Power Point was done in Flash, it's not a flash that requires much work. Flashes should have unique attributes, things that cannot be done in simple MS programs. You need to surprise the viewer with the unique abilities of yourself and Flash. I hope I'm making sense.

The slideshow was too fast. I think you should make each photo show up for at least three full seconds or maybe four. Just so that the viewer can examine them clearly. As EvilJesus also said, you should also be able to pause the animation, or maybe even rewind it in case you missed something. Maybe you should make a controllable progress bar just like in media players. Some of the usernames were also hard to read because of the weird fancy fonts they were written in. And of course, because of the fast slideshow.

As for the music choice, personally I would have preferred something slower. It's just a personal idea so I won't take off points for this.

In conclusion, although you clearly spent some effort, this movie didn't require much Flash work. The same slideshow made in Power Point or Movie Maker would have almost been the same. Like I mentioned before, if you added a progress bar, and maybe make the interface better with some background and stuff like that, it would have been something much more like it was done in Flash.

I took off:
- 2 points for the lack of visual interface
- 2 points for the slideshow being too fast
- 1 point for the repetitiveness. It's only one point, because every movie and game is repetitive at some point, right?

The rest is entirely for the effort you spent.

Remains 5/10. I'm sorry but combining a bunch of BBS images and making them into a slideshow isn't something original. Not only that, the slideshow wasn't good either. You need to put more Flash work into it to make it something more like it was done in Flash.

Good luck on the future projects you pursue.
- Review Request Club

[Cyanide & Happiness Book]

An excellent commercial.

It was actually more than a commercial. A humorous one. It was hilarious that every task of books, except reading, was mentioned. The fact that not many people read anymore was explained in a humorous way, and was done correctly. Although it didn't mention anything about the book itself, I highly doubt that this movie was meant to be a commercial. Great job on this one.

[Scrabbled!]

Indifferent.

I thought I'd try reviewing some of your flashes and see if it works. As usual, I'm sorry to say that there's a lot to be improved.

I assume it'd be fair to start by saying that there is no reason why you would play this when there's the board game. The board game is far more convenient, but this one forces two players to share a mouse. I wish that was the only problem though.

I'll start with the gameplay. This won't be easy because I'm barely familiar with Scrabble. For one, preventing players from starting without vowels isn't included in your game. If you are to literally make the cyber version of Scrabble without anything different, you might as well stick with the rules. Secondly, there is no scoring. You'd have to write the scores on paper, which is pointless as computer games like these are supposed to save you from bothering with a pencil and a paper. Third, the letters don't snatch to the grids. It's not a major problem, it just looks ugly and it's inconvenient.

Moving on to the design, the background is alright but the color of the text just doesn't match it. Especially the muting buttons are illegible due to the similar colors of the text and the background. Designing text with a different color in each letter is, by the way, as original as a cone of vanilla ice cream. Likewise, the text is really bland. If you have Flash 8 and up (I know you didn't make this in Photoshop), try assigning filters to the text. As long as you don't overdo it, it makes text looks much more attractive. The same thing applies to the game board, by the way.

The dictionary is well thought, I'll give you that. However, if you can somehow make it open in a tab WITHOUT skipping to that tab, you'd take an important step.

The music choice is OK, but it gets repetitive after a while. Furthermore, somehow, I think there are much more suitable songs for this out there. Maybe something more peaceful and calming.

In conclusion, I don't think there is any way that two people would enjoy playing this. Offline multiplayer flash games that can be played only with two people are rarely played, most people would prefer playing this alone for a few minutes before getting bored. Most importantly, there is no reason to play this when there is the REAL version.

Out of a score of 10, I took off:
-3 for the gameplay fallacies
-1 for the blandness
-1 for the music choice.

5/10 is the result, the vote result being 3/5. Frankly I feel like I've gone a bit easy on you, but it's probably because I can feel your potential. I won't be this kind next time. As I always warn you, don't jeopardize your flashes (or any kind of work for that matter) by rushing them. Keep working and improving. It'll take some time, but your hard work will pay off.

Best wishes.
~Review Request Club

up-a-notch responds:

well it's better then nothing...

[Rolling Ball Tutorial]

Long and boring.

While your intention was good, your methods weren't. It's an intensely long tutorial with only text and nothing more. Even a patient learner will eventually get bored because of the long text and quit. I wish that was the only problem...

It has a common problem: the overusing of filters. There are filters everywhere, you used glow on every piece of text. Filters are only good when used controllably. If I were you, I'd take the glow off the tutorial text and use it on buttons only. The button text font is good however.

The buttons are a blunder. They become active only if you place your mouse on the exact text. You need to work on the hit area of the buttons, perhaps draw a square over the text in that frame. You also cannot go back to the main menu unless you press either PREVIOUS or NEXT countless times.

It's also bland and needs more colors, mostly a better background.

The music didn't fit at all. Using a rock or metal song on a tutorial is never a good idea, you need something calming and encouraging.

While the tutorial is explaining an important asset of Flash, the mistakes above totally killed the potential.

Out of 10, I took off:
- 2 for the length and boringness
- 1 for the blandness
- 1 for filter overuse
- 2 for the buttons
- 1 for the music

That leaves you with 3/10. Meaning that it's a 1.5 out of 5, but because of the potential, I'll raise that to 2.

I hope you consider the points I'm trying to make. I'm looking forward to seeing you improved.

~Review Request Club

Kwing responds:

I didn't think it was too long or boring. I explained each line of script... Isn't that what a tutorial is supposed to do? What could have been done differently about that without costing some of the information provided?

The glow filter seemed pretty subtle to me. I mean, it's noticeable but I didn't see what was wrong with it. Maybe I used it too much but it really doesn't distract from the tutorial as a whole.

And the music is horrible, I know. I literally chose the song at random.

[The Tween/Easing Tutorial]

Nice tutorial.

I found this to be helpful, it's an essential guide for beginner animators. It doesn't only explain by chunks of text, but uses pictures and example animations as well. I think it's kind of underrated in fact, I think it deserves at least 3.80 or something.

The problem is that the interface is kind of bland. White text on black background is something that everyone can pull off. If I were you (assuming you have Flash 8 and up) I'd make use of filters--without overusing them that is--and I'd put the color mixer to good use.

The navigation is nicely done, I don't have much to say about that.

I liked the music choice. It's catchy and encouraging, though it may get stale after a few minutes. I didn't like how you have to restart the flash to replay the music. As far as I know, the code to how to mute music is as simple as having it turned on again. You might want to look into that.

Out of 10 points, I deducted 1 for the blandness, and 1 for the mute button. I deducted no more as it's a good tutorial and that's all that matters.

8 out of 10, 4 out of 5. Keep up the good work, I'd like to see and review your other flashes.

~Review Request Club

[Runner (Preview) {Dj-Abbic}]

Pretty good!

I'm not a "disco boy", but this would be a nice song for clubs, or bars, or whatever.

The intro is well, it doesn't "get down to the business" from the start, I like that.

I like the beats, especially the ones starting after 00:46.

Listened all the way through. I don't know exactly what to say, it's a catchy song but not something that I'd call perfect. I'll hand you a 9/10 and 5/5 because it's really good for a preview, I'd like to listen to the full version and review it as well when you release it.

Keep up the good work.
~Review Request Club

DjAbbic responds:

Ha, I just did, but it's basically a repeat of this. Didn't put too much effort into completing :\. I'll revisit it some time hopefully. Thanks for the review :)

[ThePigeonMaster's Theme]

Quite catchy.

It's a nice blood pumping rock piece. It's a good menu song for games, one would suppose. My only complaint would be that it's too loud. I'm listening to this with my volume slider most of the way down, and it still feels as if it's on the top.

I also think that it could be a little longer. Just a little. I don't know how as I don't produce music, so I leave that up to you.

As it's really good but not perfect, I'll hand you a 9/10 and a 5/5. I'll favorite it, too. I'd enjoy reviewing more of your work.

~Review Request Club

Sonofkirk responds:

Thanks for the review mrty! I'm glad you liked it. As for the loudness, I usually spend a lot of time on the track mastering so my tracks have more power and as loud as any professionally produced song but it would seems I pushed the button too far ;). Thanks pointing this out, I'll take account next time!

And feel free to review more of my work, I will probably request review on my latest song called Zelda Temple, so you'll be one review ahead :)

[-8bit clouds-]

Fun to listen to :)

The song itself is fun and a bit funny, it makes me happy. The real funny part starts after 0:28 in my opinion. Nice song to be used in a pixel game. I hope you keep this up :].

[Gone with the Wind]

Interesting.

A picture showing some kind of a natural disaster, one would suppose.

I'd like to start with the darkness issue. It's too dark. I know you want to give it a dark atmosphere, but I can hardly see anything save for the lightning and the moon. It needs to be more nitid so that people can see the rest of the picture clearly.

The moon is nice, shining lustrously. A flaw I detected about that however is that the light gets in front of the mountain, or hill, whichever you prefer. The moon is understandably supposed to be behind the hill, so make it so that it shines behind it.

A tornado is seen destroying a farmhouse, the busticated pieces swirling in the wind. I like that, but I think that if you give the tornado a more helical shape, and some other stuff (like pieces of wood) flying around it, it'd me more realistic and thusly, more disastrous.

The farmhouse is not bad, but I think that the colors of the metal boards are a bit sloppy. A linear color starting from white and extending to black is never good, it's something that you would never see in real life. Try keeping the black part more whitish or grayish.

As for the lightning however, personally I didn't like it. It looks like a very long, twisted fork. I suggest you make it upside down instead, with more lightning bolts extending from it. The idea is there, it just needs some modification.

If you look closely, by the way, the grass looks bland and awkward. I suggest you add some texture, like grown grass or flowers.

Onwards to the miscellaneous details, I really like how the tractor looks. The sky color is there, gives the picture a dark atmosphere.

In overall examination, it's a nice picture save for a few easily fixable flaws. Out of a score of 10, I took off:
-1 for the absence of a few vital details, such as grass texture and lightning bolts
-1 for a few sloppy choices of colors
-1 for the logical fallacy of the moon light getting ahead of the hill
-1 for the inappropriate amount of darkness

6/10. This has a lot of potential to be a masterpiece, keep it up.

~Review Request Club

MCarsten responds:

Wow, thanks for the awesome review mrty. And I already fixed the moon glitch and the thunder bolt looking, if you're not seeing this fixed, is because was not yet placed.

1. About the darkness is because possible raining or storm, the tornado, striking from bolts and dust and pieces of destruction from the farmbarn.

2. Moon fixed.

3. About the tornado, I did a more linear color on it, for it looks from more light to dark in horizontal, for me it gives a looking from circular funnel and about the wood pieces, I already did this, these are the flying wrecks.

4. Thanks for the advice, and I don't like linear color too hehe, but I did this, to don't be so black on the image.

5. Fixed.

6. Thanks for the advice.

7. Thanks for like the tractor, and I was trying to do it looks more attached to the atmosphere so I think I did good on this! =)

8. I'll be fixing, but in my opnion, continue with the darkness it will really show that this is a catastrophic natural disaster.

9. Thanks for the amazing review!

SpyS.

[Boring 101]

Rushed.

The word came to me as soon as I saw this: 'rushed'. That's what I think about all of your pictures, anyway.

I'm sorry to say that it's really poorly done. The man is almost taller than the door, for one. The doorknob is a single touch of the brush tool and nothing more. Everything is just bland.

The man is dreadful. You drew an ear to him for the sole purpose of drawing an ear, it's only a few inches near his eye, it needs to be much further. The glasses look like they were crushed by a car. The nose is probably the worst, it needs to be much, much narrower. The moustache has the same problem. Why am I getting a feeling that you gave him a moustache like that just to cover his mouth, which you say you aren't good at?

The clothes need much more effort, too. What is he wearing on the top, a sleeveless sweatshirt? Seems sleeveless to me. The hand is very small and simple. The book is all curly and there is no way on earth someone would hold a book like THAT. Furthermore, the shoes are extraordinarily small.

There is absolutely no sense of proportion in this. If the man curls his right arm fully, his hand can touch the ground.

By the way, why does it still have the overflowing problem? Likewise, the ear looks like anything BUT an ear, so I'll be taking off points for that too.

Serious work is needed on this. You can't expect to make something good in a few days' work. You really have nothing to lose by giving it a week more. DO NOT RUSH. Rushing will only result in self-punishment. Keep improving it until you really feel that it's ready.

Out of 10, I took off:
-1 for the blandness
-2 for the incredibly poor proportions
-2 for the fill overflowing
-3 for the effortlessness

3 out of 10 means there's still hope. I repeat, DO NOT RUSH. Spend more time and effort on your artwork, take it seriously.

Keep practicing.
~Review Request Club

up-a-notch responds:

umm just to tell you i make my drawings in like 20 minutes not days...ADD

[Sea in a Coconut]

Spectacular.

I enjoy admiring your work after Alone, and you didn't disappoint me.

It's a stupendous drawing once again, with brightening colors and decent, realistic lines. The mosaic tile pattern of the sky is highly creative and marvelous, bringing a new dimension to this piece. Once again, I truly can't find anything to improve here.

Speaking story-wise, it shows a man and a woman, lovers I presume, in a coconut shell floating in the sea. I don't know why but they remind me of Adam and Eve. There is the same 'nature book' at the edge of the coconut shell. They are apparently getting away from a deserted island, sailing in a dangerous sea or ocean. Wilson the Volleyball is a nice reference, swimming towards the shell. This might mean that it's the same ocean as the one in Cast Away. Far away in the background there is a silhouette of a ship(?) attacked by some sort of a sea monster, maybe a kraken.

In spite of my positive review, I couldn't help but notice that the apple and the shark on the back are the same size, while they seem to be alongside each other. I don't know whether this is a perspective error or not, but frankly I can't really see a reason why it would be done on purpose. Nevertheless, I still won't take off points for that, as there are so many supernatural elements in this picture, and that may be one of them.

Overall, good job once again. I'm all for creative pieces of artwork like these, so don't be shy to request them in the club if you have others like these. Or any kind of other picture for that matter.

By the way, just today I realized that apples do float in water, so you have my apologies for that. :)

10/10, 5/5. Keep up the good work.
~Review Request Club

Merol responds:

Glad it didn't dissapoint you.

That thing being attacked by a monster is not a ship, are two ships actually, if you look closer, you can notice that one is in his tentacles already.

And the apple being as big as the whale, well, those guys are inside of a giant coconut shell, it wouldn't be strange if there were other giant fruits.

I've asked for some reviews before actually, but thanks!!!

No problem about the apples :D

THANKS A LOT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!